May 2013
moonflowerlights:
If you’re having a bad day, just remember that the Raptor sounds from Jurassic Park were actually a recording of turtles having sex
Reblog this if you started worrying about your...
theyellowbrickroad:
money doesnt buy happiness but i cant say id be upset in the least bit if i suddenly inherited 5 million dollars
heartcramp:
Look, if you nicely tell me that swearing makes you uncomfortable and you politely ask me not to, I will stop immediately and speak nicer than a nun.
But if you start acting like you’re on some fucking high horse, or telling me that I’m going to Hell for talking the way that I do and you can’t “be around that kind of language” then you can bet your motherfuckin’ ass that I’ll be...
rocketpowers:
there are teenagers who have unprotected sex but have a case for their iphone
just let that sink in
macarena-of-time:
“you can use your notes on the test”
shannananan:
mercimonamie:
i fell in love with him like ketchup falls out of a bottle: slowly, and then all at once.
oh my god you managed to one up john green.
selfdoubtandsyphilis:
dankestrnemes:
do animals think in english or in the sounds they make
this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for
henryandhisbrain:
Dear Yahoo,
If you would like Tumblr users to like you, remove the post limit and word limit on messages.
If you place ads on our dash or charge for use every month, there will be a war. You have an army. We have a hulk.
Regards
Tumblr Users
trillow:
“i need to get something off my chest” yeah it’s your shirt let me help you with that
mycroft-queenofcake:
iamjayse:
thenerdfighterkid:
slydig:
tsarbucks:
slydig:
dont be mean
be median or mode
damn math fandom bloggers
shut up we have a good range of jokes
this is our domain
guys we’re forgetting the point of this post and going off on a tangent
Sometimes at night I suddenly become aware of all the things I’m missing out on right now, and all the people who I’m not close to anymore, and all of the good times that will never happen again, and all the people who meant the world to me who have forgotten about me forever, and I get this awful feeling that’s kind of like a mix between loneliness and nostalgia.
dalestuckies:
i hate seeing people my age who’ve got their life together already like what the fuck
castiel-is-wonderful:
sionainnlindsay:
castiel-is-wonderful:
WAIT HOLD THE FUCK UP
IS ‘MRS’ JUST MR’S
LIKE BELONGING TO MR
OMG
Mr comes from the French monsieur, which I think literally translates as ‘my lord’ and basically just means master, and Mrs comes from maistre which is the feminine form of master, so actually—for once—no.
This was an extremely relevant comment and I thank...
maledictor:
wait how does yahoo have any money
kingofbear:
when someone says their eyes change colour
creapy:
if people get offended by girls not wearing bras because their nipples poke through their shirt then we should require every boy in the world to wear bras too i am so tired of seeing man nipples
HEY. HEY. HEY. TALK TO ME.
aesthetically-average:
HEY. HEY.
GUESS WHAT.
I HAVE AN ASK BOX.
I KNOW RIGHT.
SO COOL.
chickensandwich:
when i have tons of money i will still buy cheap clothes because then i can have 100 articles of clothing for the price of 1 really expensive designer item and i will have a lot of money left for food
ghosteh13:
voice-of-tartarus:
demeaniac:
what if with our first clot of air when we are born we inhale a soul, and every time we breathe out, we squeeze a tiny part of our souls out. would our final breath actually be the very last soul fragment leaving our bodies?
Woah woah wait
you know those things that say “you become like the 5 people you hang out with the most”
that would explain...
